- Me: *gets on bus* omg everyone is watching me and judging me and they're going to laugh when the bus starts and im not sitting down, omg dont put your ticket in the wrong way or everyone will judge you and laugh at you.
- Me: *goes to pay for shopping* omg what if I dont have enough money? *counts money out 20 times* what if I look stupid, or say the wrong thing? am I standing in the right spot even? What if someone else wants to get past and im in the way, omg.
- Me: *says hey to someone online* omg, they arent replying, holy shit why am I so annoying? what if they tell their friends how annoying and lame I am? Why am I like this, holy shit.
- Me: *meets someone new* What if they dont like me and dont want me to be around, I shouldnt have met them, im going to be a burden, they're probably critisizing me right now, why am I the way I am?
If you ever see me with a shirt on of a show, movie or whatever on it that you love too
you have the right to sit your ass down in front of me and start talking
my public representation of my fandoms is an invitation to come and talk to me about it
Everyone has someone who gives them a wake up call.
Well I need mine.
I really really need someone to just grab my shoulders and shake me and tell me that everything will be fine. I need someone who knows every fear I have and will tell me that everything will be great but I need to work towards it.
I dunno. I just really need someone to yell at me.
To give me the drive to do what I want.
It’s been years since anyone’s yelled at me, and I kinda blame myself because any time someone does I start to cry and so they feel bad.
But no. I need someone who’s gonna make me fucking realize things are going to change unless I change them myself.
And yet while I write this..I still can’t find the courage in me to draw anything, because i’m afraid it’s gonna suck, I still can’t find the muscles to go for a walk, or do 10 sit ups. Even though I am perfectly capable of doing 20 because I’m afraid if I keep doing so that I still wont lose any weight because I can’t get away from the junk food. I still can’t find the will to want to better myself. Even though I am perfectly able to do so. And it’s because no one tells me their proud of me. No one reminds me that i’m beautiful even though i’m 206 pounds and can’t fit into a size 8. No one reminds me that I can do great things.
And I’m not even looking for attention. But I also know that it’s normal to crave human attention. And despite being surrounded by all these people, no one ever tells me that they love me, or that they’re proud of me, or anything.
I’m just lonely. I need a hug. I need someone to give me that little push to get up the hill. I don’t want a relationship, I don’t want a fuck buddy. I just want one fucking real friend to remind me that i’m not a worthless piece of crap and that someone is proud of me and that they’d miss me if I was gone.
I just really want to start a gym for geeks where you’d have to like run away from Daleks or GET TO ENGINEERING through some ducts or like compete in a Tri-Wizard Tournament or train with lightsabers and it would just be hilarious nerdy wonderful fun.
- When I started Tumblr: Hi, I'm a single fandom blog and will proudly always stay that way.
- Now: *letting all the fandoms swallow me whole*
- call you names
- tell you weird and personal details about myself
- say “I NEED TO PEE” instead of just brb
- type in caps a lot.
If i’m extra comfortable with you I’ll do all that and:
- talk casually about porn and really perverted thoughts
- share funny photos from my tumblr dash
- actually tell you when i’m upset
- try to make conversation with you
- just generally act really silly when I’m in a good mood
- tell you jokes even if they’re bad